Posted 9 years ago
How did i LEARN IT? A wise man once told me that seeds grow in the dark, so do we. That was the beginning of years of working towards facing my pain with an open heart. This man also taught me that there is no such thing as a negative emotion and that it’s not the emotion, but our relationship to it that makes it “good” or “bad.”
Today, I welcome the dark parts of me that I used to go to great lengths to hide. The pain, the shame, the hurt, the need for approval, the drive to be loved; they are all me and I don’t try to make them wrong anymore. Instead, I spend time getting to know them, learning where they they came from and wondering how they may have served me in the past. I try not to disown any part of me but I work equally hard to not over identify with any one part either. As a result, I’m comfortable being weak, I’m also comfortable being strong. I love winning but I don’t mind losing either. Joy is wonderful, but I cherish my tears too.
My heart is always present and it influences every decision I make. When it’s not, I won’t make any important decisions until I can feel it again.
How do I LIVE IT? I didn’t intend for this, but as I learned to love all of me: the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the low and the high, I became better at loving those places in others. I also became much more available emotionally in my relationship. I’m less angry and much more loving and I’m at more at ease around others because I’m not trying to conceal or cover up parts of myself that I don’t think they’ll like. There is much more love in my everyday life and I experience peak moments in such unexpected places.
The work is not over, it will never be. But the journey is so rich now that I can feel everything and everyone so intensely. My life is a path lit by love.
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