Bachelor Parties Can Be So Much More Than Binges and Blowouts

Bachelor Parties Can Be So Much More Than Binges and Blowouts

Last week taught me an important lesson: bachelor parties can be so much more than binges and blowouts. At a time when a man is wading into the choppy and uncertain waters of marriage, he needs his friends to show up soberly – not just free of intoxication but also of any armoring preventing them from accessing and sharing their hearts with him.

Last week, a group of friends threw a surprise bachelor party for Jairek Robbins that captured the essence of that. The first part of the day involved difficult, physical competition. Sweat poured, blood dripped and the group of men emerged physically exhausted but grateful to have challenged ourselves and each other.

What came next was powerful. Jairek asked the guys to go around the lunch table and share their experiences with love and how they got through their most difficult moments in relationship because he wanted some tips before his big day. As the first person begin sharing, Jairek stared, with rapt attention, listening to each and every detail, while taking meticulous mental notes and remained focused until the very last person spoke.

Men don’t often share their most vulnerable moments with other guys but that day we did. Some of us cried, some of us laughed, some of us openly shared our fears about not knowing enough about love or women. When the last person was done sharing, Floyd Marinescu turned to me and said “wow, I feel like I know everyone so much better, the group feels so close.”

Floyd’s words summarized Jairek’s bachelor party: a group of guys getting together, being men, being active, competing against each other, roughing each other up and then connecting deeply and vulnerably through honest sharing. We got to see all sides of each other – the strong and the soft.

That day represented something bigger to me than a different kind of bachelor party; it represented a different kind of man, one that is as comfortable with his feelings as he is with his strength. The light and the dark, the pain and the joy – it was all there. Nothing was left out.

After the last person shared, the group emerged deeply connected; the connection was refreshingly intimate and emotionally raw without any weakness that many men associate to such sharing.

We saw each other for who we really were. As the veils dropped, our hearts opened and our feelings told stories much deeper than our words could ever tell.

And Jairek took it all in…

What a way to start a marriage.

• by Ryan Moalemi
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